Why I'm Glad I Didn't Choose to Co-Sleep
When I was pregnant, I was asked the question - "Are you going to let the baby sleep with you?" My answer was always quick, and always No. I still firmly stand by that decision and wouldn't go back and change anything, even if I could. Co-sleeping is a popular thing. In fact, I know quite a few parents who do it. I'll never judge them, but I'll also never join them.
For me, the decision not to allow my child to sleep in the bed with me came when I was younger. No names, or relations mentioned, but I knew of a child, who was in his toddler years, and he couldn't fall asleep unless his Mom, or another trusted adult, was in the room. Really though, he wanted his Mom in there with him. I didn't even have to do it every night, and I found it slightly exhausting.
Who can really get sleep with a kid kicking you in the back, or screaming if you have to get up and leave the room, even just to use the bathroom and come straight back. So, after experiencing that, I knew for a fact that when I had my own child, the decision had already been made, they were NOT going to be sleeping in my bed.
I suppose I should confess. While I was breastfeeding, there were times when I kept my children in bed with me after they were done eating. However, as soon as I started them on the bottle, I decided it was time that they no longer ruled my roost. I kept them in the room with me, but they slept in a bassinet, or the crib.
So, all you co-sleeping advocates can't really point at me and yell mean things :) - I didn't kick them out all the way. I do believe in keeping children close, so I couldn't just send them into a room, all alone, right away. But, I did want them out of my bed as soon as they weren't attached to my nipple, what seemed to be 24 hrs a day.
Now, they are a little older and I can tell you, I am still glad to have made that decision when they were babies. I started a trend, one that I could work with, and one that didn't wear me down so much. Personally, I don't get much sleep when I have to share the bed, or blankets with someone. I'd make the hubby sleep in his own bed if it weren't so cliche. I like my space. But it's much more than that. I enjoy my "ME TIME." I feel just like my Mom when I say that. We always had a bed time, and her reason was the same as the one I now give my own children. The time when I put them in bed, until the time I go to bed myself, is time I get to spend on myself. I don't have to force myself to bed when they go. I can sit, in the quiet and get work done, or enjoy a nice glass of wine, which is something I'm sure some people frown upon you drinking in bed, with your kid snoozing right next to you.
If I had decided to go ahead with co-sleeping, the chances are pretty high that my "Me Time" would be non existent.
What are you reasons for either co-sleeping, or choosing not to co-sleep?
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Live Love in the Home
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We let the kids sleep with us once in a while if they had a nightmare or something, but they were like wild animals. Like you while I breastfed, often I would fall asleep with a babe attached or close by so the next feeding time would be convenient. But because the hospital scared me to death by scolding me the first time the nurse came in the room and found me asleep in bed with the baby, I was always afraid of rolling on top of the baby in my sleep. Not that I actually slept with the baby near me..mostly dozed. I wanted a good night's sleep so the baby had its own place to sleep. Most of my reasons for not co sleeping are the same as yours. Plus..not to mention, having intimacy with your husband is not gonna happen when there's a kid asleep in the bed!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your comments! New Moms (and Dads) need their rest. Plus, you're right - I'm not sure kid number two would exist if kid number one got tucked into Mommy and Daddy's bed each night.
DeleteAll the best,
Jessica